Top 10 things the 911 Operator may say when you call to report a Giant Weiner is in Your House.

10. Ok, sure. *click*

9. Have you been drinking?

8. If it has been more than 4 hours you need to seek medical attention. Would you like me to send an ambulance?

7. Harry Potter! I told you someone would end up getting hurt if you didn’t stop playing with your wand!

6. Look Perez, If your calling to brag, we don’t have time for it. If they’ve hit you, well, I bet you deserved it!

5. Put the knife down Mrs. Bobbitt.

4. I’m sorry your diet didn’t last long Ms. Alley. Just stay calm & don’t choke.

3. Mr. King, how many Viagra did you take?

2. Hey Paris, thanks for the heads up on your new movie.

1. Wow, Mrs. Clinton I didn’t think Bill ever brought that home.

Weiner Mobile

Photo by Tom Mccauley / AP