Just when I think my mind can’t possibly be blown any more than it has been, I watch some TV, or follow some celebrity jackass on Twitter and BOOM… *Mind explodes*. Seriously, when you turn on the news, what’s the first thing you see? Charlie Sheen. Every-god-damn-where. I mean, these news stations have like, 5 minute segments on this moron. FIVE MINUTES!!! Do you know how long that is in News Time? Jesus.

And then, he goes and gets a Twitter Account. That’s right. You’d think that society would have a tiny bit of dignity and not go follow him, but in the first few days he’s been on Twitter, he has reached almost 2 million followers. You know what that kind of shit tells me? People got nothing better to do but worry about what this stupid whack job is doing. Sure… some of the things he has to say are a bit entertaining. But, why are we so consumed with his downfall?

He made 2 million dollars per episode of that bullshit show, Two And A Half Men, and he’s asking for more money, because he has to pay for his children. I think if you make 2 million an episode, your kids should be set up pretty good Charlie. Think about the people who you freakin’ worked with, but because you decided to screw shit up, are now ALSO out of a job. Those people obviously didn’t make as much, and sure to hell not MORE than you, so I can guarantee they are worse off than you at this point. Stop being such a self-absorbed-selfish-asshat. Kay?

This man is off his rocker. Gone. Nothing. Left. In. Brain.

Really. Just the fact that the media is so consumed with it. Do we not care what’s happening in Libya… or about anywhere else that’s having issues? I mean, people are dying over there because they have some crazy ass, senile dictator leading them. And a guy with no fashion sense, if I do say so myself… But no, over here, it’s “What Did Charlie Sheen Say or Do Today?”

SCREW YOU!

I cannot stand the song Grenade. Even if it wasn’t on the radio 45 times in a damn hour, I will still rant about it, just because I hate it so much.

This freak, Bruno Mars wrote a song, complaining about this chick who doesn’t give a crap about him. I mean, that’s obvious enough…

“Should have known you were trouble from the first kiss, had your eyes wide open, why were they open?” Now, I don’t know if the other person’s eyes are open, unless my eyes are open, so why were YOUR eyes open, BRUNO?

And then, apparently, he gave her all he had and she tossed it in the trash, she tossed it in the trash, she did… So, I can definitely see why he feels the need to catch a damn grenade for her, throw his hand on a blade for her, jump in front of a train for her and do anythaaang for her… for the wench that just tossed his crap in the trash and had her eyes wide open when he kissed her.

OH, and then, furthermore, in what environment is he in that he needs to be catching Grenades and Knifes from hitting his girlfriend? Like, why would you even say that? If I’m talking to somebody and they just randomly say “Oh yeah, I would catch a Grenade for you.” I would be lost. We’re not in a freakin’ war field…

I‘m not even going to get into the part where he says that witty, 5th grade comeback of, “Tell the devil I said ‘Hey’ when you get back to where you’re from.” Psh.

What the hell you should do, if you’re one of those smartass romantics, is instead of catching a Grenade for them and blowing yourself up thinking it’s “sweet”, push them out of the way and save both of your lives. And really, trains are pretty big, I don’t think throwing yourself out in front of it, will do either of your any damn good.

I want a song to come out that’s like, “No, I won’t catch a Grenade for you, but I will throw your ass out if you toss my shit in the trash, you moron.” That seems more realistic. But no, Bruno is going to CATCH the Grenade, blow himself up so that his girlfriend is alone for the rest of her life, depressed as hell because she just watched the dude die in front of her and then feel guilty for keeping her eyes open when they kissed. WAY TO GO BRUNO!!!!!!

And then, at the end of the song, he just goes in psycho path mode talking about how he would take a bullet through the brain for her, and die for her… I mean, really, this song is just a decline of Bruno’s sanity. Someone get this boy some help.

Watch this CRAP! Give it another view, will you.

Are you wondering how the new Health Care system will work?

Do you wonder if it will work?

What about those people that oppose it? What is wrong with them?

Most of all, Can Americans afford Obamacare?

No worries kids…the government has everything under control. They know that there is not enough money to cover this healthcare plan but, who cares? If they can just get enough people to understand that you will die, babies will die, the world will end without Obamacare…then you will just get over the mass tax increase and shoddy health care. Oh even the group proctology exams are starting to sound fun. And really, do you need granny to live any longer? Her health care is getting a bit costly and everyone has to die sometime.

To help get the people to understand how they MUST have Obamacare, the good ol government is buying Google ads. Yes, they are spending money to advertise on Google.

Yes, the deficit is higher than a cats’ ass but, this is a needed expenditure…right?

Go and type in Obamacare into Google. There you will see that the www.healthcare.gov/ is in the paid section of listings. Whatever you do…do NOT click on it. Hell, I can’t afford more taxes just so you can look at that page. Just sit and look at the link…that is YOUR tax dollars at work. Feel the joy you get from knowing that the government is spending your hard earned money in a very useful way.

If you don’t like your taxes being raised or used for advertising crap then you may want to contact some witches from Romania.  Romanian Witches Use Spells to Protest New Taxes, they don’t take any crap. Well, they do use cat crap in their spells. Be sure to save all the cat crap you have in case we as a country start a cat crap spell revolt.

Ok, you have sat here long enough. Back to work you drones we have bills to pay.