I was out watering plants when I noticed a couple of Jehovah Witness kids down the street.

I immediately turned off the water & ran inside. I had to figure out a game plan to deal with them.

Opening the door naked had always been a favorite until I realized that I could be totally responsible for the increasing number of gay boys. It all came to me one day when I noticed those boys screaming in terror & shoving sharp sticks in their eyes as the ran from my door. They will never want to see another naked female.

Well, today I was going to be a little nicer when they got here. I sent out 1 simple tweet about my plans –

I was just sitting here waiting for the knock on my door & even started feeling a little bad about torturing those boys.

It’s not their fault that they have to go door to door.

Think of how many people slam doors in their face, yell obscenities at them, crazy old saggy ladies flashing them (I’m sure I’m not the only person that does that)…. These poor kids were just born into this. I should try to be nice, just once.

As I waited I noticed a reply on Twitter.

Holy shit, those Jehovah Witness kids are getting back up from a bot on Twitter.
They are even ordering the stoning of poor tweeters that cross their path.

WTH?
Do Jehovah Witness even stone people?
I would think they had stopped that. If they do stone people, then they do a really good job at hiding the bodies because it’s been along time since I’ve heard the news headline – “Body Found, Investigator Suspect Stoning as Cause of Death”.

Ok, maybe the Jehovah Kids have nothing to do with Twitter or the evil bot that is throwing stones at me.

Trust me, I will be waiting for those kids to come back by, I am going to ask them about this. I should be able to argue with them about ‘ordering me stoned to death’ long enough for the other neighbors to hide.

Remember if you are going to make snarky remarks; do not utter the Lords name & only pick on the Amish (they’ll never know).